Anger
The Let Liz Speak
Bless Elizabeth Warren. Some days it feels like she’s the only Democrat who has the backbone and fight left in her to fight the good fight for all of us. Yesterday, Elizabeth took the floor in the Senate in an attempt to read a letter from Coretta Scott King from 1986 about the nomination of Jeff Sessions…
Read MoreThe DeVos
The Senate voted yesterday to allow our public education system to be run by a woman who ran a pyramid scheme and has never once set foot in a public school, neither as a student, parent, teacher, or volunteer. The truth is, they don’t want the people to be educated. After all, it’s so much easier…
Read MoreThe Dress Like a Woman
These drinks are LITERALLY writing themselves. Another day, another reason to drink. Today we have a drink called The Dress Like a Woman. Apparently women in the White House are now expected to dress like women. We assume that means something other than being a woman who wears clothes. To help us cope with the…
Read MoreThe Going Rogue
Has your new boss suddenly silenced you with a gag order? Are you no longer allowed to communicate with the public? Are you being actively suppressed because you aren’t sharing his “alternative facts”? He’s probably just bitter (much like the campari in this recipe) because he realizes that he doesn’t really have the best tweets…
Read MoreThe Fucking Wall
You may be reading this and thinking, hey, The Wall is a drink in the book already. Yes. Yes it is. But it just wasn’t strong enough, so we’re adding The Fucking Wall. #fuckingwall We find former Mexican Presidente Vicente Fox’s tweets to our new president pretty awesome, and it’s his tweets that inspired this…
Read MoreMartini Monday
Hey, Everybody! It’s Martini Monday with Cocktails for Survival! We thought we’d take a few minutes to highlight a few of the deliciously funny martinis we conjured up for your next Trumped-Up Cocktail Party! Here’s the lineup: The 400-lb Hacker Who else but Donald Trump could roll both fat-shaming and hacking into one big lie?…
Read MoreDrinking and Laughing are the Patriotic Responses
Is a cocktail book for surviving the Trump presidency really a good idea for myself or as a gift for others? Is humor really the correct reaction to the horrors that are likely to come? Isn’t it a bad idea to suggest alcohol as a coping mechanism? These are legitimate questions that have arisen in…
Read MoreMcConnell jokes about Court blockage
Mitch McConnell’s abrupt change of position on blocking Supreme Court nominations will leave you so disoriented, you’ll feel like you’ve been drinking. Not twenty-four hours after the expiration of Merrick Garland’s nomination, Senator McConnell, who blocked Garland for 293 days, has declared that the American People (™) simply will not tolerate Democratic obstruction of President…
Read MoreOnly God Can Help You Now, I’m Out
by guest blogger, Alexander Hamilton’s Ghost Jesus fucking Christ, America. Are you kidding me with this shit? I was just a man. I wasn’t a prophet or a fortune teller. But even so, I could not have described Donald J. Trump more accurately than I did in Federalist 68. Would it have been easier for…
Read MoreNo, you’re the puppet
Did you ever get the feeling there is a giant hand stuck way up inside Donald Trump’s extra-large asshole? Like maybe, Trump’s evil twin’s hand is up there? His Russian evil twin. And that Donnie actually enjoys having a giant Russian hand up his ass? Yeah, me too. And it makes me need a drink.…
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