Martini Monday
Hey, Everybody! It’s Martini Monday with Cocktails for Survival! We thought we’d take a few minutes to highlight a few of the deliciously funny martinis we conjured up for your next Trumped-Up Cocktail Party! Here’s the lineup: The 400-lb Hacker Who else but Donald Trump could roll both fat-shaming and hacking into one big lie?…
Read MoreDrinking and Laughing are the Patriotic Responses
Is a cocktail book for surviving the Trump presidency really a good idea for myself or as a gift for others? Is humor really the correct reaction to the horrors that are likely to come? Isn’t it a bad idea to suggest alcohol as a coping mechanism? These are legitimate questions that have arisen in…
Read MoreThe Trumped Up Trickle Down
Make a pyramid out of champagne glasses. Pour all of the champagne into the top glasses and see if any lands in any of the lower glasses, or if, like the poorest people in our society, they are left out completely with no hope of ever getting any champagne. If anyone suggests that it’s unfair that…
Read MoreFor Immediate Release
Cocktails for Survival: Not as trump as you drink I am How to survive the Trump presidency with humor and alcohol United States of America, January 10th, 2017 – If you woke up in shock after the election to discover the fresh hell that a demagogue who preys on racial, ethnic and religious hostilities was…
Read MoreMcConnell jokes about Court blockage
Mitch McConnell’s abrupt change of position on blocking Supreme Court nominations will leave you so disoriented, you’ll feel like you’ve been drinking. Not twenty-four hours after the expiration of Merrick Garland’s nomination, Senator McConnell, who blocked Garland for 293 days, has declared that the American People (™) simply will not tolerate Democratic obstruction of President…
Read MoreFire her once, shame on you. Fire her twice, give her a cabinet position.
When we heard that Trump had given Omarosa Manigault, famous first-season Apprentice contestant, a position called “official public engagement czar,” we knew we needed to write a drink in her honor. When she said that “every critic, every detractor, will have to bow down to President Trump,” we knew that it needed to be a double.…
Read MoreCelebrities won’t play the inauguration. Sad!
There will be a lot more circumstance and a lot less pomp with the 2017 election, because no A-list celebrities are willing to play. I assume Ted Nugent and Kid Rock are in the line up, but I haven’t heard if Chachi Scott Baio will be there yet. Is Billy Bush available? I hear he…
Read MoreThe Putin’s Puppet
Great move on delay (by V. Putin) – I always knew he was very smart! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) December 30, 2016 You’d think we’d all have realized by now that Trump and Putin’s relationship is more than platonic. Apparently, their love knows no bounds, least of all Twitter boundaries. Since this love affair…
Read MoreOnly God Can Help You Now, I’m Out
by guest blogger, Alexander Hamilton’s Ghost Jesus fucking Christ, America. Are you kidding me with this shit? I was just a man. I wasn’t a prophet or a fortune teller. But even so, I could not have described Donald J. Trump more accurately than I did in Federalist 68. Would it have been easier for…
Read MoreThe Electoral College is the Gift that Keeps on Giving
Created by men wary of democratic impulses, the Electoral College is a vestigial organ of the body politic. When all is going well, you don’t notice it. But, like an appendix or gall bladder, it can become infected and, if not removed in time, cause pain or even burst and poison the body. In the…
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