The Hand Jerker
Drunk Publius is obsessed with the President’s inability to shake hands like a normal human-being. Apparently the only way to prove your masculinity is by jerking on the hand of your unsuspecting subject. There’s no way this move makes you look like an asshole compensating for tiny hands. It only makes you look strong and…
Read MoreThe Out Like (Michael) Flynn
Trump’s Presidency is going to be such a series of disasters and losses that future generations are going to be baffled by the use of the word “trump” in card games. So too has Michael Flynn’s rapid exit from the Trump administration (not to mention his 2014 firing from the Obama administration) turned the phrase…
Read MoreThe See You in Court
Donald Trump tells the 9th Circuit Court he’ll see them in court. Which begs the question, where else would you see a court but in a court? Or does he mean he’s taking a court to court? And if you are taking a court to court, do you need a bigger court to take a…
Read MoreThe Nordstrom Rack and Rye
My daughter Ivanka has been treated so unfairly by @Nordstrom. She is a great person — always pushing me to do the right thing! Terrible! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 8, 2017 Reinvent Yourself with this high-end cocktail, but do it where style meets savings, at the Rack! You won’t find Ivanka’s clothing or shoes…
Read MoreThe Let Liz Speak
Bless Elizabeth Warren. Some days it feels like she’s the only Democrat who has the backbone and fight left in her to fight the good fight for all of us. Yesterday, Elizabeth took the floor in the Senate in an attempt to read a letter from Coretta Scott King from 1986 about the nomination of Jeff Sessions…
Read MoreThe DeVos
The Senate voted yesterday to allow our public education system to be run by a woman who ran a pyramid scheme and has never once set foot in a public school, neither as a student, parent, teacher, or volunteer. The truth is, they don’t want the people to be educated. After all, it’s so much easier…
Read MoreThe Spicer Fact
Sean Spicer is a raging ball of cognitive dissonance. As it turns out, trading one’s dignity telling lies in service of a short-fingered vulgarian makes a guy cranky. He needs a nap, a snack, and an honest job. But, so long as he’s yelling alternative facts at the White House press corps, what you’ll need…
Read MoreThe Dress Like a Woman
These drinks are LITERALLY writing themselves. Another day, another reason to drink. Today we have a drink called The Dress Like a Woman. Apparently women in the White House are now expected to dress like women. We assume that means something other than being a woman who wears clothes. To help us cope with the…
Read MoreThe Bowling Green Massacre
In today’s version of “Shit Kellyanne Conway is making up,” we bring to you a new drink we call The Bowling Green Massacre. Drink enough of these and you too may hallucinate the unnecessary, indiscriminate killing of a large number of human-beings in Bowling Green, Kentucky. The Bowling Green Massacre Ingredients: 1 oz absinthe 1 oz fresh lime juice…
Read MoreWho knew the National Parks would be the face of the resistance?
After inauguration, I knew there would be protests, fights, and resistance to this president. What I did not see coming was that park rangers would be leading the cause. But in the face of the unimaginable, a new and beautiful thing has arisen. And it’s the Alt National Park Twitter accounts. For anyone in a…
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