The Rocket Man
In a shocking turn of events, math isn’t the President’s strong suit. Donnie apparently thinks Kim Jong-un has been negotiating with the US for 25 years. What the rest of us didn’t know was that apparently Kim Jong-un has been controlling North Korea’s nuclear arsenal since the ripe young age of 10. The “Fake News”…
Read MoreNambian Covfefe
“Nambia’s health system is increasingly self-sufficient.” – Donald Trump The Nambian Covfefe was brought to America by Nambian Ambassador, Frederick Douglass, who is doing an amazing job. This drink is one of the reasons we’ve been hearing more and more about him lately. (Another reason being, of course, his work with the widows of the Bowling…
Read MoreSize (Apparently) Matters
45 is obsessed with size. OBSESSED. It’s only slightly scary. Yesterday while speaking about Hurricane Harvey in Texas he even commented on the crowd size. “What a crowd, what a turnout,” he said. Because you know the only thing that matters to people who have been sitting waist deep in water in their living room…
Read MoreWe want your videos!
Friends, Drunk Publius is hard at work on Cocktails for Survival, Volume 2. With this wealth of material, we have a great start and plan to release the book before Thanksgiving, so you can shop for the holidays for gifts for all your friends, family, and frenemies. In the meantime, we’re going to run a…
Read MoreThe Alt Left
“What about the ‘alt-left’ that came charging at the, as you say, the ‘alt-right’? Do they have any semblance of guilt?” – Donald Trump, President of the United States, August 15, 2017 Fighting nazis is now just as bad as being a nazi. Some nazis are fine people. Just ask 45. “You also had some…
Read MoreThe Fire and The Fury
Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, Creeps in this manic pace from crisis to crisis, To the end of a hopefully abbreviated term; If Trump is allowed to continue, the fools who support him, Guam, and the rest of the world alike will be facing a dusty death. He is a poor player, strutting and preening…
Read MoreThe Dump
‘Chatting with some members before a recent round of golf, he explained his frequent appearances: “That White House is a real dump.”‘ – golf.com It’s bad enough that you have to live in a place that’s filled with white nationalists and other incompetents. It’s hardly gilded at all. Not classy! Putting the “white” in White…
Read MoreThe Mooch
Now that’s Spicy’s out, the Trump Administration needed to find someone who could up the ante, who could talk the talk, walk the walk, and who isn’t afraid of a little verbal diarrhea. Enter Anthony Scaramucci or “The Mooch.” His first task was to immediately delete all his past tweets (great communication!) and profess his…
Read MoreThe Skinny Repeal
Have your minio— I mean, *colleagues* in the Senate let you down bigly? Are you simply trying to give your rich cronies a nice tax break, and you don’t understand why everyone is so pissed? Do they keep accusing you of killing a number of people that would make Hitler say “Day-um,” before you have…
Read MoreThe Jamboree
The Pussy-Grabber in Chief has a new vision for the Boy Scouts. In the good old days, we saw depictions of the dutiful Scout helping a little old lady cross the street. In Great-Again America™, Trump wants them to help liberate her from the oppression of health care. He used the Scout Jamboree as a…
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